Booth's Touchstone
by luvthembones
Summary: A Secret Santa 2013 story for NatesMama. A little angst, a little smut, and a lot of comfort. In canon. Merry Christmas NatesMama!


This is a secret santa 2013 fan fic story for NatesMama.

This is about Booth and Brennan. In this particular case, about how Brennan is Booth's touchstone. His home, his safe harbor, his protector, his best friend. She gave him the life he didn't think he deserved or was possible.

I hope this is something that you will enjoy NatesMama!. You asked for Booth and Brennan, a little angst and a little smut. I must admit, when I found out who I was writing for, I panicked just a little bit. I wrote this weeks ago, but have been too nervous to post it. I won't even tell you how many rewrites this went through in the meantime. Especially after so many other wonderful secret santa fics have been posted! This is my first effort at writing any story since grade school (which was a long, long, long time ago I might add) and the first time I ever wrote anything even remotely "romantic". I almost trashed it and started over several times, but the story just stays in my head. Funny how it sounds so much better in there than on paper! Nevertheless, Merry Christmas! From your 2013 Fan Fic Secret Santa, Luvthembones.

A huge thank you to Faithinbones who not only read and proofed this for me, but offered her kind encouragement along the way.

I do not own Bones.

B&B&B&B&B&B&B&B

The case was beginning to wear on him. It was always difficult when it was one of their own. An FBI agent who had gone missing during an undercover assignment was later found dead in the back room of an unoccupied store front of some rundown little strip mall. As the details began to emerge, Booth couldn't help but make parallels with his own life.

The man had been a few years older, but he had had an abusive alcoholic father and he had been abandoned by his mother when she committed suicide. He had been in the military and later joined the FBI. He had a teenaged son and he was divorced and lived alone. The victim was estranged for the most part from any remaining relatives. He even gambled. His thing was horses though, not pool halls.

Is this what he would have become if he had never met Bones? He remembered the cold emptiness that he tried to fill with gambling, drinking and the adrenaline rush created by his job. It seemed the harder he worked, the colder he had become. Parker had been the one light in his life then, but Rebecca kept his access to a minimum thanks in part to his lifestyle. But even Parker couldn't fix what was wrong with him, couldn't fix his brokenness.

Booth kept looking at the file. He could see the anger and the bitterness in the victim's eyes. It came across the photo and made him shiver with something akin to fear. He recognized those eyes. He's seen them in his bathroom mirror.

He remembered how he felt then, believing that his soul was all but destroyed by his actions, that he was too far gone for redemption. But he still had had faith, in God and in his hope that his sacrifices would count for something in the long run.

Booth glanced over to the photos on his desk. His eyes lingered on his happy face while he held Bones and their baby girl just hours after she was born. That was him now, wasn't it? He belonged to a family - Bones was his WIFE, they had Christine. He thought of Parker, of Pops, even of his Mom and Max. His mighty hut, his office, his job.

Then the old Demons came crawling out of the dark corners of his mind, eager for some attention. He felt overwhelmed by the doubts that filled him. Was he deluding himself? Wasn't he still that broken, scarred man? He had come to believe he had changed, but the anger still simmers more than he would like to admit as does the urge to gamble. He has killed so many men, taken so many lives. How could he of all people deserve this happiness?

As he spiraled down this well worn path, he stumbled across a thought and an image of Bones filled his mind.

He remembered how he watched her just before she woke up that morning. How warm and wonderful he felt as she looked up at him and smiled her good morning. She looked so happy. Maybe he wasn't good enough, but she seemed to think he was. Somehow she believed in him, had faith in him, trusted him with her heart.

God knows why she chose him, but he would make sure she didn't regret it. He would be her protector, her lover, her partner and anything else she needed or wanted him to be. He knew that when all else failed, his love would be strong enough. And when he faltered, he could always count on her kindness, her intelligence and her love to revive him.

It never failed to amaze him, that power she had over him. He thought of her eyes. He could stare into them forever. That particular shade of grayish blue, unlike any color he had seen before.

That blue which should have been cold, yet made him feel so warm, like floating in a warm, calm ocean. So open, so beautiful, so welcoming.

How they drew him in and held him in a space so vast he forgot everything except her.

He always became so new and reborn in her presence, so clean and whole. Ah, Bones….

Suddenly overcome by the need to see her, he abruptly stood up, grabbed his jacket and headed to the elevator.

Booth walked past Sweets with a determined look on his face and a sense of purpose in his step. It appeared as if Sweets was going to stop him for something, but then seemingly changed his mind and just shook his head with a knowing grin on his face. Booth knew that Sweets had figured out where he was going. Where he always went when he was hurting or unsure. Sweets understood probably better than anyone that he needed Bones to work her magic on him.

Booth strode into the Medico-Legal Lab. Bones was not on the platform nor in her office, so he moved towards Limbo. Sure enough there she was, surrounded by students and demonstrating something or other. He knew he shouldn't interrupt, but he just NEEDED to be near her right now, so he moved to the entrance and stood in the doorway.

Within a minute, she looked up and caught his eye. Her gaze locked with his, and he saw her tilt her head and look at him, her thoughts visibly swirling around in that big, beautiful brain of hers. As if coming to some conclusion, she gave the students an assignment to work on while she excused herself and left the room.

Booth followed her back to her office, and once inside, closed the door behind them.

He watched as she once again tilted her head to the side, taking the time to study him again. When she looked at him like that, he felt like some kind of science experiment. It was unnerving. Like she was reading his thoughts, his memories. He could tell that she understood how difficult this case was for him. He could see she wanted to help.

And in typical Bones fashion, she just stood there, quietly waiting for him to let her know what that was.

Without saying a word, he slowly closed the distance between them and just stared at her face.

Being this close to her always seemed to take his breath away and he felt his heart skip it's usual beat.

He brought his hand up to her cheek and ran his finger down the side of her delicate face. He felt her tremble, ever so slightly, at his touch.

He leaned in until their foreheads touched. His hands cradled her head and he simply breathed her in. Her scent, so uniquely her own, filled him.

He gave a deep sigh, closed his eyes, and just like that, he felt his cares starting to slip away as his senses became totally focused on her heartbeat, her breathing, her amazing stillness.

Only she could fill that stillness with such palpable strength. So much powerful energy contained in such a delicate frame. It felt like standing in the eye of a hurricane and looking at the storm from the inside out. Somehow both humbling and reassuring.

They stood that way, perhaps minutes or maybe just seconds, when he felt her raise her arms and touch his shoulders. An electric shock ran down his spine and his need transformed into something more physical, more demanding. He had to taste her.

The moment their lips touched he stepped into that storm. He felt himself transported to that place that was only theirs. He forgot that the world even existed as he was filled with the magic that was them.

Heaven. Absolute heaven. She tasted so good. Felt so warm. He felt her heartbeat quicken, her breathing hitch and become erratic. He reveled in her response, in her need for him.

Suddenly she pulled back but before he could even form the question why, he saw her sexy little smile coupled with that very Bonsey twinkle in her eyes. She took his hand and his own smile grew in understanding.

She led him to their "private" place in her office, a space she had set aside in her storage closet, and organized to suit a very particular purpose. She had attached an ingenious little metal rail to the side wall, conveniently shaped to fit the curve of her derriere, in order to make best use of the small space. Just the right height for her to perch on comfortably. He knew she did it to make it easier for his back, but he appreciated it more for the extra maneuverability and freedom it allowed him! Ever thoughtful and practical, his Bones.

He closed the closet door behind them and she immediately grabbed his jacket lapels as she pulled him towards herself. That's all she did and already he could feel his balls tightening and his erection pushing painfully against his clothes. It never ceased to amaze him how quickly his need for her could overtake him. Their kisses became deeper and more frantic as their harsh breathing echoed around them. She was as caught up in it as he was. Their clothing made muffled sounds as they quickly divested themselves of their garments. He wanted to touch her, to taste her, everywhere. Her skin was liquid heat. He lost track of whose hands were doing what. Her hands, his hands - it was all one wonderful jumble of sensation. His touch, her touch, they all just added to the growing frenzy. Oh God, he was so close, he just needed to be inside of her, NOW.

Instinctively, she moved herself into position and he knew she was ready. One swift sure stroke and he was buried deep inside, surrounded by her warmth, her firm softness, and he was just let himself go, pushing her against that wall as he pressed ever deeper into her with every thrust of his hips . Her arms and legs gripped him and her head fell forward. He felt her teeth sink into his shoulder as she moved her pelvis, meeting him stroke for stroke in a well practised rhythm. He delighted in the feel of her and her passion. His heart filled with the heat of that passion, even as he felt surrounded by the shelter and the love she was offering. He was safe. He was home. He was in heaven.

He pounded into her again and again, more strongly now, enveloped by her arms and legs, not thinking anything, just feeling the power in his movements and the intense pleasure that was building inside of him. He felt her legs and arms tighten like a vice grip around him and knew she was close to breaking in that same passionate storm. Her spiraling tension fueled his own need. He tightened his hands on the soft flesh of her beautiful round ass and he strained to increase the pace even more.

God, he loved this woman so much. So fucking much. Never had he known love could be like this. The more he had of her, the more he seemed capable of feeling. This was his whole world, right here right now. Here he wasn't broken. Here he was loved, he was whole, he was enough. And with those thoughts he emptied himself into her as she shuddered around him, the vocalizations of their pleasure echoing in his brain.

That wonderful sound reached into the depths of his dark soul and scattered the remaining shadows lurking there.

They continued to hold onto each other, his face buried in her neck, her hands in his hair. All of his fear, all of his doubts just poured into her warm embrace. He felt tears roll down his cheeks and onto her skin. She took those too, gently kissing them away until he was filled with nothing but the warmth of her love and the light of her truth. This is what is felt like to be truly blessed. This, and only this, was real. This was his miracle and he would be forever in awe of it. He raised his face to hers as she held his head in her hands and gently, oh so very gently, brushed away any remaining tears with her thumbs.

He thought briefly of that other agent and felt a flash of pity for him. The man had died never knowing someone like her. He'd died never having tasted the richness of this kind of life, of this kind of love.

He gave his Bones one more kiss. Barely a whisper on her lips and yet he felt it all the way to the tips of his toes. Her lips were amazing. He was the luckiest man in the world. Oh, how he adored this woman. He prayed to God that he would be able to give to her as much joy as she has given him. A lifetime would not be enough to show her how much he loved her. He would not waste a moment of it. Not if he could help it. She smiled back at him, her eyes kind and compassionate as they held his in their spell for just a little while longer, neither of them appearing to want to break the contact.

But the outside world could no longer be denied, so they gathered their clothing and made the necessary repairs to their appearance. The closet door was opened and he could see the world return to full focus in her eyes. Bones smiled at him once more, touched his cheek briefly and strode briskly back to her waiting students.

Booth smiled and chuckled to himself as he made his way back to the entrance of the Jeffersonian. A man reborn. Ready to tackle the world. For her, for himself, for his family. For that young teenage boy who lost a father before that father could find himself. For all those others out there still looking for justice.

Yeah, life was a good thing. Complicated, messy, difficult even…but a very, very good thing.

He was ready for it.

Ooooooooooooooooooooo

Thank you. Reviews or any thoughts you are willing to share will always be appreciated.

And again a Merry Christmas, Happy Diwali, Happy Solstice, Happy Kwanza, Belated Happy Hannukuh, and Happy New Year! Best wishes to all in the Bones fandom. Thanks for watching and keeping our little show on the air!


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